Sudden Death In Disasters And Transportation Accidents: A Guide To Survival For Family Members And Friends

Revised and printed from an earlier version that is posted at: http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/johnweaver/ I am uncertain of the original author of the document upon which this has been based. Several years ago I received a copy of a similar document, but it had no author or source reference. After receiving it, I extensively edited and expanded it. I then shared it with survivors and with other mental health workers, many of whom are Red Cross Disaster Mental Health Services volunteer leaders. Based upon the feedback I received, major revisions were made and it is now in use in several places. To learn more about the American Red Cross or to donate to the Disaster Relief Fund, please call your local ARC chapter or this toll free number: 1-800-842-2200 Someone you love has died. It is an understatement to say that your life has been changed forever. Your pain and perhaps anger are deep and it will be a very long time until you can resolve the strong mix of feelings you are now experiencing. Getting from where you are now to a point of resolution about your loss will take a great deal of hard work and determination on your part, as well as the support of one or more caring listeners. Right now, there is a flood of thoughts, emotions, and reminders of the person(s) you lost. You should expect to have crying spells, mood swings, sleep difficulties, and troubling memories and dreams. This painful array of feelings and reactions is often so intense that people may wonder whether they are losing their minds. All of this is actually a normal part of coming to terms with a traumatic loss like this one. You may have had a previous experience like this earlier in your life, having suddenly lost someone close to you. If so, you will be able to use what you learned from that experience to help you handle this one. Each of us must ultimately resolve these horrendous life experiences in our own way. THE MOST COMMON FEELINGS OF GRIEF The process of mourning the loss and healing the emotional wounds from such an event generally takes at least one year and, in most cases, it will continue for several more years. It can require even more time if mourning is complicated and delayed by the stress associated with any related issues (e.g., lawsuits or criminal trials). The following information is offered to help you better understand some reactions you may be having now and learn a bit about the reactions you may face in the future. Much of this may not make sense to you right now, but keep it handy and refer to it whenever times are tough. The messages will gradually become clearer as you experience typical stages in the healing process.