Coping with the loss of the marriage dream: A cognitive-behavioral perspective

Abstract Cognitive-behavioral approaches suggest that when people enter romantic relationships they already possess a set of cognitions that specify what the relationship should be like. These cognitions, it is proposed, are held in a construct called the “marriage dream!” When people inevitably come to note a disparity between the nature and quality of their relationship and what their cognitions led them to expect, they experience a loss of their marriage dream. This article considers the loss of the marriage dream and the cognitive-behavioral strategies people use to adjust to it. These strategies are used when the loss is encountered during the marital relationship and, for divorcing couples, during their divorce and the postadjustment period.