COMMUNION AND COMPLAINT: ATTACHMENT, OBJECT-RELATIONS, AND TRIANGULAR LOVE PERSPECTIVES ON RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

The present study attempted to find empirical connections between the attachment, object-relations, and triangular love perspectives as they apply to relationship with God. Attachment to God and object-relations perspectives on God have already been extensively investigated in the literature. In this study, it was observed that the triangular love model (Sternberg, 1986) could also be applied to relationship with God. Using established instruments from each literature--attachment, object-relations, triangular love--it was observed that two factors best explained the correlations among these instruments. The first factor, "Communion," describes the degree of intimacy, closeness, dependency, and trust in the God-relationship. The second factor, "Complaint," describes the degree of disappointment and/or frustration involved in the God-relationship. Because these two factors--Communion and Complaint--are orthogonal, it is argued that the commingling of Communion and Complaint in the God-relationship is one feature that can imbue this relationship with an emotional dynamic similar to that observed in human love relationships. ********** What does it feel like to love God? If human love relationships (romantic or familial) provide any analog, then love relationships with God could be either satisfying or conflicted. For example, as in human relationships, we could struggle with intimacy issues, failures to communicate, and a lack of passion in our relationship with God. On a positive note, believers also report that loving God can be characterized by experiences that typify the best of human love relationships: passion, excitement, trust, intimacy, and empathic companionship. In sum, it seems that believers appear, at least partially, to understand their love relationship with God via the human love experience. The Old and New Testaments also support this conclusion where relationship with God is often described as either a parent/child relationship (e.g., Isaiah 49:15, 64:8, 66:13; Hosea 11:1, 3; Matthew 6:9) or a spousal relationship (e.g., Isaiah 54:5, 62:5; Ephesians 5:25; Revelation 19:7-8). Further, in Scripture God often expresses His feelings toward His people in marital or parental images. Over the years, personality researchers have developed a host of theoretical models and assessment strategies to describe the various experiences of love in human affairs. Gradually, given the reasoning above, psychology of religion researchers have begun to use these same models and assessment strategies to better understand how believers experience love and relationship with God. The goal of the present study was to compare three dominant love theories as they apply to relationship with God: object-relations theory, attachment theory, and the triangular love model. More specifically, it was the hope of this research to identify a psychometric structure that might link the three approaches. If links could be forged between these three theories, a framework of interpretation might be erected which could facilitate communication and comparison for research groups working with the different models. To date, most of the literature concerning love relationship with God has focused on the object-relations or attachment perspectives. The addition of the triangular love theory was a novel contribution in this study. Loving God: The attachment perspective Attachment in love relationships. As most are aware, attachment theory has flourished ever since Bowlby's (1969, 1973, 1980) pioneering work. Early on, Mary Ainsworth (1985) described the four features that describe the attachment bond between a child and caregiver. Specifically, the caregiver is considered to be a secure base of exploration and a haven of safety for the child. Consequently, the child attempts to maintain proximity with the caregiver and experiences separation anxiety when the caregiver departs or cannot be located. Ainsworth's unique contribution to attachment theory was, through her use of the Strange Situation, the identification and description of unique attachment styles in children. …