The (Im)possibilities of Living as People with AIDS: Incorporating Death into Everyday Life

The body has become a primary focus for reflexively constructed narratives of the self in late modern worlds (Giddens 1991; Shilling 1993; Mellor and Shilling 1993). The stories we tell ourselves about ‘who we are’ are increasingly centred on a concern with our bodies. Because of this, encounters with illness and death can pose a significant threat to the self. This is compounded by the growing absence of collective meanings around death in secular societies (Mellor and Shilling 1993). In short, there are limited resources available to individuals in late modern societies for making sense of the (inevitable) demise of their own bodies. This has particular implications for those who are ‘chronically’ or ‘terminally’ ill (cf. Bury 1997). It also has implications for an increasing number of the outwardly ‘healthy’ who have been identified as being at risk of illness or death (cf. Beck 1992). Faced with serious illness – or with the risk of serious illness – many individuals have little choice but to attempt to incorporate an acute awareness of their own mortality into everyday life. In this chapter I employ an analysis of personal narratives of PWA (people living with AIDS and/or HIV) to explore key dilemmas encountered in such an endeavour. I also indicate the ways in which this is both a highly personal and political task.