In Search of One's Past: An Identity Trip

The experience of being “cut off,” either emotionally or physically, from one's family of origin and extended families is an experience that at times confronts us all, be we the children of natural, adoptive, foster or divorced parents. The goal of this paper is to show that a person's identity is profoundly related to, and affected by, his sense of connection to his family of origin. This paper will take as its point of departure the author's story as a foster child and will describe his successful effort to get himself reconnected to his natural family. The story raises questions about the policies of foster-care agencies and, by implication, questions about adoptive agency policy. Finally, the paper may have something to say not only to family therapists and researchers but to all of us who wish to more fully “know” our parents and our extended families.