The issues surrounding motherhood present certain dilemnas for the lesbian woman that are not present for heterosexual women. This paper examines mothering issues for lesbian women wanting children, for lesbian women with children from prior heterosexual relationships, for lesbian non-mothers, and for the partners of lesbian mothers. Case examples are utilized to demonstrate various aspects of the conflict and its resolution.
This chapter identifies the particular issues that need examination for lesbian women wanting children, for lesbian women who have children from prior heterosexual relationships, for lesbian nonmothers, and for the partners of lesbian mothers. When a lesbian woman decides to become pregnant, she may not be prepared for society's response. First, motherhood is revered only when it occurs within heterosexual marriage. Second, the decision to conceive, particularly by artificial insemination by the lesbian woman, implies a kind of self-sufficiency which is threatening to the patriarchal order of society. Lesbian couples that choose as a couple to conceive are faced with a large number of variables. One may be more committed to becoming a parent than the other one. The role of the nonbiological parent is one without legal, cultural, or emotional definition. Lesbians without children have mothering issues to contend with as well. Being a lesbian without children offers another set of opportunities, often unrecognized for growth.
